


Every Long Lost Dream (Led Me To Where You Are)

by harrytomlinsonwhoops



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, M/M, Stupid Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 04:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrytomlinsonwhoops/pseuds/harrytomlinsonwhoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I start to say <i>I think I love you</i> but I make no sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Long Lost Dream (Led Me To Where You Are)

He doesn’t get through. He had made it all the way to Simon’s house, and he _still_ doesn’t get through. He always knew that in life, things couldn’t always go your way, but- this was his _dream_. He _had_ to become a singer, because he honestly didn’t think he could cope if he didn’t.

Yeah, that was dramatic. But it was the truth. He couldn’t _live_ without music.

“Come back in two years,” Simon said.

 _I’ll be here_ , Liam thinks.

*

Here he was again, two years later. Standing on the same stage he auditioned on, except this time, this time he was _better_ and he was _going_ to get through.

*

He doesn’t get through.

*

“Dream big,” his mother tells him. “You’re good enough Li. We'll try again next year, alright?”

 _I give up_ , he thinks.

_*_

He gets called back to the stage, and he’s not sure why.

He had never been sure of anything though (except that he was good enough to get through. But, well- yeah) so really, nothing new, right?

*

“Hello, thank you so much for coming back,” Danni says. Liam feels tears spring to his eyes, because- just _because,_ alright?

“I know, judging from some of your faces, that this is really hard. We’ve thought long and hard about it and we’ve thought of each of you as individuals, and we just feel that you’re too talented to let go of,” she continues. Liam feels his heart drop, because he just can’t deal with rejection again. He just _can’t_.

“We think it would be a great idea to have two separate groups.” Liam glances to the right, at the boy Louis, who’s face had split into a huge grin. He looks around quickly at the others, seeing their confusion as well.

“We’ve decided to put you both through to the groups,” she says

 _I’m in_ \- _no,_ we’re _in,_ Liam thought, before thinking became impossible as he joined the other four boys in a group hug.

*

They go to Spain, and Louis hurt his foot and has to go to hospital.

(Liam pretends not to notice how much of a _wreck_ Harry is without him, because- he’d deal with that when it became a real problem.)

“Just keep rehearsing,” Simon tells them all. “I trust you boys, and I’m sure Louis does too.”

 _We have to get through_ , Liam thinks.

*

“No, I- I can’t sing that much of the song,” he stutters, staring at the boys in shock.

“You’ve got the strongest voice Liam,” Zayn sighs. “And you’ve been here before, you _know_ what he’s expecting.”

“In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t make it _through_ before, so why the hell would I be any help? Unless you want tips on how to _suck_ , because I can help with that,” he spits back, a bitter tone lacing his words. Zayn looks at him, frowning, before walking away.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Harry tells him, frowning softly, which of course makes Liam feel guilty instantly.

“I’m sorry,” Liam sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I just- you’ve got great voices, all of you. I don’t _want_ to sing the whole song,” he says, his voice pleading.

“Liam, we need you to. Zayn was right. You’ve got the strongest voice at the moment, you’ve had the most practice and the most experience. We need you Liam,” Harry says.

 _I’ll bring us all down_ , Liam thinks.

Harry walks away, saying he was going to find Zayn (which Liam knows is code for ring Louis), and Liam was left with Niall.

“Say something,” he commands, sitting down and shutting his eyes.

“What?” Niall questions, joining him on the floor.

“Anything,” Liam begs. “I just- your voice. It’s calming and all- Irish sounding and-” he was interrupted by Niall’s loud laughter, and it had an instant soothing effect on him.

“You _are_ good enough,” Niall says, after a pause. “I know you may not think it, but it’s _true_ Liam. Don’t tell the other boys I said this, but- you’ve probably got the best voice out of all of us, and-”

“I’m scared,” Liam says softly. “It’s like- I’ve been here before, you know? And didn’t get through. And then, I come back, two years later; like Simon said. And I’m _still_ not good enough. Not until they put me with four other people, and-”

“You _are_ good enough,” Niall interrupts him again. “Liam, just- breathe, okay? Because you’re _good_ and we all know it. You’re going to get up there, and you’re going to sing the damn song, because we all believe in you, and _know_ you can do this.”

“Thank you,” Liam say softly.

 _I want to kiss you_ , he thought, and- where the hell did that come from?

*

He doesn’t kiss Niall, but he literally has to _force_ himself not to, when he’s singing the song, and rehearsing with just Niall.

 _This boy will be the death of me_ , Liam thinks.

“Your voice is perfect,” Niall says, staring at him in adoration.

 _You’re perfect_ , Liam thinks.

“Thanks,” he says.

*

They get through.

*

Louis jokes after, that it’s all thanks to him, and Karma owed him one anyway, for letting that stupid jelly fish sting him.

Liam just smiles and laughs along, but he doesn’t agree.

 _It was all thanks to Niall_ , he thinks.

*

“You went _fine_ Liam, stop stressing,” Niall says, after the first live performance. Liam frowns at him, before grinning when Niall rolls his eyes.

“I- I’m scared,” he admits, again.

Niall smiles, and grips his hand. “Don’t be,” he says, smiling.

 _I love you_ , he thinks.

*

They get through the second week, too.

Zayn claims it was because of him this time, and his amazing high notes, but Liam knows better.

 _It’s because of Niall_ , he thinks. _Niall and his amazing ability to keep me sane_.

*

The forth week, they manage to get through again.

This time, it’s Harry claiming victory, saying it’s his curls that are bringing in votes.

Liam argues with him slightly, saying that it was a _team effort_ but then Louis tells him to shut up because of course it was Harry that’s getting them the votes. It’s _always_ Harry, according to Louis.

While Liam is inclined to agree with him somewhat, he still knows the truth.

 _It’s Niall_ , he thinks. _It’s all Niall_.

*

The last week, Niall kisses him on the cheek before they sing _Torn_ , and he thinks that they just might win this.

*

They don’t.

*

Niall’s blaming it on himself, which is a weird turn, because usually the boys leave the self doubt to Liam.

“It’s not your fault,” Liam says, comforting him. He wraps an arm around Niall’s shoulder, and smiles softly when Niall drops his head onto Liam’s arm.

“I wasn’t _good_ enough,” Niall murmurs.

“You _are_ good enough,” Liam says, forcing Niall to look up at him.

“Then why didn’t we win?” Niall questioned.

“Because,” Liam says. “We didn’t need to win. We just all needed to meet, and form One Direction. We’re staying together, and we’re going to be great,” he said.

“I get it,” Niall says. “How you felt when you didn’t get through the first time. Why you just wanted to like- _give up_.”

“But I didn’t,” Liam says. “You stopped me from giving up, and I _owe_ you for that Ni. And I’m _glad_ I didn’t get through the first time, or the second time, by myself. Because then I might not have met _you_ ,” he says, smiling as Niall’s face lit up.

“You mean that?” Niall questions, a small, hopeful smile on his face.

“Of course,” Liam says. “Of _course_ Niall. Every time I failed, it just got me one step closer to One Direction,” he says.

 _Every time I failed, it just got me one step closer to_ you _,_ he thinks.

“And this ‘failure’ will get us one step closer to becoming the next big thing,” he adds.

“Liam’s right,” Zayn says, walking into the room with Harry behind him, who has Louis attached to his hand, as usual and some part of Liam _hates_ them, hates that it’s _so easy_ for them, and that nobody even looks twice at them when they hug or hold hands or even almost _kiss_ but a bigger part of him is just _jealous_ for no stupid reason except that he thinks he’d like to be able to hug Niall or hold his hand or just fucking _kiss_ him whenever he wanted to, but he _can’t_ because he can’t even say it aloud, and-

The little part of him that was left over just wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

“I’m always right,” Liam agrees, after a pause, winking at Niall. Niall giggles and Zayn laughs loudly, and Liam wants to tell him to _shut up_ because Niall is _laughing_ and nobody should ever talk or laugh over that _beautiful_ sound, alright?

“We’re going to be fantastic,” Louis tells them all, pushing Harry on a lounge, and then curling up on his lap. “We’ll have girls _falling_ at our feet,” he adds, grinning.

“Yeah, because I’m sure _you_ want _girls_ falling at your feet,” Zayn snorts. Harry laughs loudly, running at hand through Louis’ hair.

“I’ll always fall at your feet,” Liam hears Harry mumble to Louis, who blushes, and interlocks their fingers, and- it’s _disgustingly cute_ but some part of him admires the way that they’re so _open_ yet so unconcerned about labels and- _why can’t he be like that_?

Oh right, because he’s the _sensible_ one, the _rational_ one, the _straight_ one.

Except that maybe he wasn’t.

“Thank you,” Niall whispers. “For cheering me up.”

 _You’re welcome_ , he thinks.

“I love you,” he says. Niall freezes in his arms, and Liam’s brain catches up with his mouth, and _fucking hell_ , he said that _aloud_ and- “Fuck no, I didn’t mean that- well I did _, of course_ I did but- shit,” he says, before standing up quickly and bolting out of the room.

*

Harry finds him ten minutes later, and there’s a small moment when Liam thinks it’s Niall and that maybe Niall loves him back but then he sees the brown curls, and hears the voice that definitely _isn’t_ Irish, and-

“He hates me, doesn’t he?” Liam questions, his voice breaking. Harry frowns, and sits down next to him, and wraps his arm around him and it’s _nice_ and it’s _comforting_ but it’s _not Niall_.

“No,” Harry says. “He doesn’t hate you.”

Liam sighs in relief, before bursting into tears. “If he doesn’t hate me why isn’t he here?” he questions.

“He was- confused,” Harry says after a beat. “You just said you _loved him_ , Liam, and then took it back and ran out of the room,” Liam frowns, and looks up at Harry.

“I didn’t take it back,” he counters. “I could _never_ take that back.”

“Because you love him,” Harry says, but it’s more of a statement then a question, and-

“How did you know?” Liam asks him. Harry’s brow crinkles.

“Know what?”

“That you loved Louis,” Liam elaborates. There’s a long pause, and Liam thinks he might not get an answer.

“I just knew,” Harry says.

“Be a bit more specific Haz, I’m kind of going through a crisis right now, and some information on how to _deal_ with it, would be very helpful,” he says, sarcastically. Harry rolls his eyes, but grins anyway.

“The way he smiles,” Harry says, softly. “I think that was the first time I fell for him, when I saw him smile. And then I just learnt more and more things about him, that made me love him more and-”

“Like what?” Liam interrupts.

“Like- like the way he doesn’t wear socks, and the way he’ll make me a cup of tea in the morning, and it’s always got the _perfect_ amount of sugar and milk in there. The way he’s such an _idiot_ , but he’s also really sweet and caring. The sound of his voice basically makes my knees weak, and he gets this little tinkle in his eye whenever I tell him I love him and it’s just _adorable_ and _perfect_ and it’s just _Louis_ ,” Harry says.

“Are you gay?” Liam questions, a few seconds later. Harry frowns again, before shrugging his shoulders.

“I think I just love Louis,” he says. “I don’t think love needs a label, right?” Liam nods his head slowly, offering Harry a small smile. “Now, go find Niall and sort this out, because you _need_ to,” he says.

“Aw, look at that, Harry Styles- _caring_ about somebody other than Louis,” Liam teases, standing up as well.

“Don’t flatter yourself Liam,” Harry says, grinning. “It’s for the _sake of the group_ ,” he teases, using one of Liam’s main phrases.

 _Screw you Styles_ , Liam thinks.

“Thank you,” he says.

*

“Niall?” he questions softly, walking back into the room. Niall’s still sitting in exactly the same position, but he jumps up at the sound of Liam’s voice.

“Liam?” he says. Liam nods his head, and takes a small step closer. “God, I thought you’d left,” Niall sighs.

“I’d never leave you,” Liam says, without thinking. Niall smiles, and takes a step closer, and there’s only a short distance separating them and Liam’s having trouble _breathing_.

“You better not,” Niall says. “Liam, did you- did you _mean_ it?” he questions. “What you said before?” Liam takes a deep breath, before nodding his head slowly, never _once_ breaking eye contact with the blonde boy.

“Yeah,” he says. “I- I _love_ you Niall,” he says, again, and- _fuck_ , it is _such_ a relief to be able to _say_ it and not just think it.

“It’s about bloody time,” Niall says, grinning.

“I- _what_?” Liam questions, tilting his head in confusion.

“God Liam, you’ve been _so obvious_ since freaking _boot camp_ , and I’ve been _patient_ Liam, I have, but- a guy can only wait so long, you know?” Niall teases, taking another step closer.

“Wait,” Liam commands. “You _knew_? But- _how_? I mean, god, _I_ didn’t even know,” he stutters.

“You’re pretty easy to read,” Niall says. Liam frowns, because _no he’s not_. “Oh,” Niall says, taking another step closer and now there’s literally _no_ space between them, and Liam could just lean in and _kiss_ Niall if he wanted to and _boy_ , does he want to. “By the way, I love you too,” Niall says.

Liam leans in and kisses him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading. i would truly love it if any of you could spare the time to watch this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEUumIaxM9M&app=desktop), and then consider sharing it or donating to [this cause](http://prf.donorpages.com/TeamEnzoFundraising/CatherinaLlontop/). a little boy that i know was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease called progeria. this disease causes him to age at rapid rates, and children who suffer from this have a life expectancy of only 15 years. enzo is currently the only child with this disease in the entirety of australia, and he and his family would appreciate any awareness you could raise or any funds you can spare. if you're unable to financially help, please consider even sharing the video so maybe it will reach someone who is able to. again, thank you for reading.
> 
> as usual, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slytherinlarry_) and [tumblr](http://slytherin-larrie.tumblr.com).


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